Do you tattoo?

Do you tattoo?

Not as in do you create tattoos for other people, but have you gotten a tattoo somewhere on your own anatomy?

Now that tattoos have moved to the mainstream, this is not an odd question, though personal observation indicates there’s quite a spread in demographics on the tattoo yes, tattoo no scale. Of course there’s no firm rule, but women over 50 with tattoos seems to be the most unusual demographic.

So what inspired me, as a member of that demographic, to get a tattoo?

The first time I pondered the idea was a long time ago, just as tattoos were transitioning from Hell’s Angels to artsy-fartsy. At that time conventional wisdom said, you need to think about this long and hard. So I did, sort of. The second factor was a much more recent conversation with a friend — and here I will apparently digress then circle back later.

The friend quoted her yoga teacher about women’s lives in their mid-fifties. After working many years with women of all ages she observed that around that age women’s lives tended to get dramatically narrower, or dramatically wider.

This didn’t really sink in until later, but as I pondered that idea several things came to mind. It really is an important moment for most women. Women with kids are becoming empty nesters, unless they got a late start but even then the empty nest is on the near horizon. Menopause has happened or is happening.
The odder, harder to define thing is that women of this age somehow start becoming invisible. Sometimes literally — being ignored in shops, getting bumped into on the sidewalks — but also in culture and daily life. It’s a lot harder for a woman to be visible after age fifty, even on a day-to-day basis. No kids, no longer cute-young-thing, assumed to be an un-interesting, ignorable entity. That, or if not ignored, getting an uber-annoying condescending treatment,

So my theory was that women who are not willing or able to fight against the invisibility end up being pushed into society’s corners, with an ever narrowing life. Women who push back against the invisibility and embrace the freedom of fewer family responsibilities end up with a wider life. Part of that is circumstance or choice, of course. Some women may be more than ready for some invisibility and relaxation. And on the other hand, not everyone has the energy or courage or knowledge to push back. Not everyone has the economic freedom. But the other part is attitude, choosing to accept or not accept the role that society seems to dictate for women over fifty.

My personal attitude is to not accept that role. I’m a little unusual — not married, no kids, having lived most of my adult life as an expat — but even so, I was definitely feeling pushed into a corner and wanted a good way to push back. Not that I really care about what people think about me, but definitely do care when those opinions start to affect my options.

My tattoos are part of that pushback. They’re a reminder for myself that I’m not what society thinks I should be. And they’re a message to people who meet me to not make assumptions about me, based on demographics. Other actions might work just as well: pink stripe in the hair, blue fingernails, out-there clothes. Yes, it’s a big decision, but tattoos are an easy, no-maintenance way to let people know when a woman is in the over fifty but don’t make assumptions group.

So are you thinking of getting a tattoo, for whatever reason? Here are some things to ponder:

Be sure to go to a qualified, licensed tattoo artist. If you can get recommendations from friends, all the better.

Is the tattoo just for you, or a semi-public statement? If just for you, or if your profession or something in your life precludes getting a public tattoo, that fact will dictate where to put it (hips are a possibility).

If it’s ok for your tattoo to be visible, how visible do you want it to be? Wrists and ankles are classic semi-visible places. Don’t choose side of hands, fingers or feet. The skin on the palms of our hands and bottom of feet is different and transition starts on the sides of fingers, for example. That was my first idea, but tattoo artist told me that tattoos there don’t last.

What tattoo to get? Ah, that’s the big question, and there are hundreds of answers. Words, symbols, birds, the moon, and a lot more. I got two small Viking runes with inspirational meanings for my Scandinavian heritage (on wrists), a Celtic triquetra for my Irish heritage and a shell for my connection with the Camino / Road of St. James (last two on my ankles). No, not all at once, first two on my wrists and ankle tattoos a year later, and not at the same time. Oh, and once you start thinking about this and for sure once you have your own tattoo, you will really start noticing other people’s artwork.

Does it hurt? That depends on your sensitivity to pain, on the skill of the tattoo artist, and on where you get it done. At least theoretically a tattoo on thicker skin or muscle hurts less than thinner skin over bone — but that again depends. My idea was that top-of-foot tattoos would hurt a lot, but a friend who has one there says it didn’t hurt that much. I have also heard that tattoos anywhere on the head are really strange-feeling, not even thinking face, but ears or behind ears. For me, tattoos on wrists and ankles felt like a deep, buzzy scratch with intermittent mild pain.